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O.K., I am going to tell you something terrifying. According to the most recent gloomy polls, where average Americans evaluate how the ol’ Trumpster is doing, and decide how often he’s getting it right, with his momentous decisions and his seismic actions, Trump is doing worse than . . . wait for it . . .
Punxsutawney Phil.
As in, the groundhog who, once a year on February 2nd, in a tiny Pennsylvania town, predicts the weather.
Yup. You heard me right. The President of the United States of America is getting it right less often than the species Marmota Monax. They should both be referred to by their official titles, out of respect, n'est-ce pas?
Just to be clear: for those of you who have, like Punx, been living in a cave or burrough (a life choice which, by the way, I totally understand, condone, and am personally considering), it is a fun American tradition wherein everybody gathers around the groundhog’s hangout and they wait for him to emerge. Then, if he sees his shadow, and it scares him and he runs back in his cave, it's going to be six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t see his shadow, spring is imminent! It is a pretty well known fact that Punxsutawney Phil is correct about one third of the time. Any other weatherman (or woman) would be mocked roundly and probably fired. But it’s this adorable little groundhog . . . It’s all just funny and fun.
What is neither fun nor funny are Trump’s approval ratings, which, according to two of the most respected pollsters–Gallop and Pew–are also abysmally low. And, amazingly, according to Gallup, the President’s approval rating is 36%--exactly one point above the groundhog. As for Pew, depending on the precise question you ask about the President, just as the groundhog is correct about one third of the time,so, analogously, do a mere one-quarter to one-third of Americans think Trump is doing anything right at all.
Now here’s where that is scary: (And for what it’s worth, the following statement is probably the most banal observation you will read all day. Yet we must state the obvious. Because nuance has not worked.)
The difference is that everybody thinks it’s a laugh-riot on February 2nd, when Punxsutawney Phil gets it wrong about predicting the end of winter, because we all know that Groundhog Day is really just an excuse to gather, commune, boost tourism revenues, take a lot of cheesy but adorable pictures, share a group prayer that spring will be here soon, and probably get some decent drinking in.
The stakes are a wee bit higher when a man who is arguably the most powerful person on the planet–oh no, wait, let me do it like it’s one of his 3:00 a.m. Truth Social posts–”when a King of the Sadly UnUnited States, who is Argyouably the Most Powerful Man on Earth”--is so out of touch with both the American people and the citizens of the world writ large that lives are lost. When Punxsutawney Phil gets it wrong, the only thing that happens is a few bets are lost. By contrast, when the President miscalculates so hugely and so frequently on such a staggering range of issues, the United States as we know it is in danger, and–given the President’s nuclear threats–oh yes, the world could come to an end.
Just some food for thought.
So there you have it.
You have this hairy, unevolved, dim and dirty dozing creature that we have interrupted from his long winter's nap, who emerges from his dark burrow only to gape at a curious and questioning crowd with primal befuddlement.
And then you have the groundhog.
Punxsutawney Phil.
As in, the groundhog who, once a year on February 2nd, in a tiny Pennsylvania town, predicts the weather.
Yup. You heard me right. The President of the United States of America is getting it right less often than the species Marmota Monax. They should both be referred to by their official titles, out of respect, n'est-ce pas?
Just to be clear: for those of you who have, like Punx, been living in a cave or burrough (a life choice which, by the way, I totally understand, condone, and am personally considering), it is a fun American tradition wherein everybody gathers around the groundhog’s hangout and they wait for him to emerge. Then, if he sees his shadow, and it scares him and he runs back in his cave, it's going to be six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t see his shadow, spring is imminent! It is a pretty well known fact that Punxsutawney Phil is correct about one third of the time. Any other weatherman (or woman) would be mocked roundly and probably fired. But it’s this adorable little groundhog . . . It’s all just funny and fun.
What is neither fun nor funny are Trump’s approval ratings, which, according to two of the most respected pollsters–Gallop and Pew–are also abysmally low. And, amazingly, according to Gallup, the President’s approval rating is 36%--exactly one point above the groundhog. As for Pew, depending on the precise question you ask about the President, just as the groundhog is correct about one third of the time,so, analogously, do a mere one-quarter to one-third of Americans think Trump is doing anything right at all.
Now here’s where that is scary: (And for what it’s worth, the following statement is probably the most banal observation you will read all day. Yet we must state the obvious. Because nuance has not worked.)
The difference is that everybody thinks it’s a laugh-riot on February 2nd, when Punxsutawney Phil gets it wrong about predicting the end of winter, because we all know that Groundhog Day is really just an excuse to gather, commune, boost tourism revenues, take a lot of cheesy but adorable pictures, share a group prayer that spring will be here soon, and probably get some decent drinking in.
The stakes are a wee bit higher when a man who is arguably the most powerful person on the planet–oh no, wait, let me do it like it’s one of his 3:00 a.m. Truth Social posts–”when a King of the Sadly UnUnited States, who is Argyouably the Most Powerful Man on Earth”--is so out of touch with both the American people and the citizens of the world writ large that lives are lost. When Punxsutawney Phil gets it wrong, the only thing that happens is a few bets are lost. By contrast, when the President miscalculates so hugely and so frequently on such a staggering range of issues, the United States as we know it is in danger, and–given the President’s nuclear threats–oh yes, the world could come to an end.
Just some food for thought.
So there you have it.
You have this hairy, unevolved, dim and dirty dozing creature that we have interrupted from his long winter's nap, who emerges from his dark burrow only to gape at a curious and questioning crowd with primal befuddlement.
And then you have the groundhog.
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POST SCRIPT (Reader challenge) Remember when we used to laugh?
The groundhog is also known as a whistlepig, a name it earned because of the high-pitched sound it makes to warn others of danger. Another popular nickname, which has evolved into a funny little tonguetwister, is “woodchuck”.
Can you think of a fun limerick or rhyming tongue twister about our President, Donald Trump, using words that rhyme with woodCHUCK? Prizes will be proffered!!
The groundhog is also known as a whistlepig, a name it earned because of the high-pitched sound it makes to warn others of danger. Another popular nickname, which has evolved into a funny little tonguetwister, is “woodchuck”.
Can you think of a fun limerick or rhyming tongue twister about our President, Donald Trump, using words that rhyme with woodCHUCK? Prizes will be proffered!!
I swear on a stack of Bibles, Qurans, Talmuds, Vedas, Mahayana Sutras, and The Avesta that I had not seen the above cartoon when I wrote my wee epistle.
What I will tell you is that my editor took out the following paragraph from the above essay, apparently because of the reference to testicles. I would have thought that such a refrence would be welcome, seeing that nobody in Washington D.C. seems to have a decent set of balls on them any more--ironically, if we have seen them displayed, it has been from women--Marjorie Taylor Greene taking on Trump, etcetera. I have unredacted it, shown below, in the proper context of the essay:
"It is a pretty well known fact that Punxsutawney Phil is correct about one third of the time. (edited material:) And that fact is gleaned from a visit to the impressive National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration website. Now, why that information is even still available from a department that has experienced millions in dodgy, Doge-y budget cuts, even as the future of the entire department hangs in the balance, is anyone’s guess: the date of the NOAA webpage that gives us a granular and exhaustive list of the accuracy of Punxsutawney Phil, alongside the accuracy ratings of all other groundhogs similarly situated, is January 28, 2025–ironically just one week after President Trump was inaugurated for a second term. So precisely why the information is still there on the website is anybody’s guess; either the information was gleaned before the questionably nicknamed Musk Minion “Big Balls” could get to it and wipe it clean, or else the powers-that-be have decided that groundhog accuracy data vis-a-vis predictions is a more important thing to pursue at the NOAA than, oh, say, warning people in the storm’s eye about life threatening weather events, like all those little girls in Texas who drowned during a storm that everyone knew was coming–well, who can say, these days?
SIDEBAR: I have seen no evidence of the accuracy of the “Big Balls” appellation, all I know is that when queried, the musky Edward Coristine said he gave himself the name, in an effort not to be taken seriously. It seems to have worked. Even when Big Balls was viciously attacked on the streets of D.C., lots of folks, including medical professionals, commented on the lack of actual visible wounds, the unrealistic pattern of the fake-looking blood, the lack of any video evidence, be it by the ubiquitous D.C. civic surveillance system or private citizen documentation–and so much more.
But back to how wrong Punxsutawney Phil is: two-thirds of the time!? Let’s get real. Any other weatherman (or woman) would be mocked roundly and probably fired. But, jeez, it’s this adorable little groundhog . . .It’s all just funny and fun.